holding onto what we've dreamt up
by whereitallbegins
Summary: the timeline of josh h. and massie b. basically? he showered her with love, but luck just wasn't enlisted in her vocabulary. that doesn't mean she stoped hoping. for secret santa exchange: ALLIE and FELICIA


**an: for aaaaaaaallllliiiiiiie:) i love you, dude, so freaking much. i'm sorry if this is laaate, but to let you know, i've had this done since early december in four hours :) just for you, love(: **

**this is also for "desiree", bianca, tess, felicia, dani [come back?], tash, lisa, chantal, and everyone else. . jeezums, i hope i didn't forget anyone :O **

**disclaimed. disclaimed. disclaimed. **

**merry christmas and a happy new year:)**

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**Holding Onto What We've Dreamt Up  
**a Christmas FanFic  
_whereitallbegins  
_for WakeMeUpWhenIt'sYesterday/_allie_

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**Josh Hotz/Massie Block, age 6**

Josh Hotz smiled widely at Massie Block, one of his teeth missing. Massie smiled back, her dimple deepening and showing itself off. Surrounded around her were her neighbors and childhood buddies; Nikki Dalton, Alicia Rivera, Dylan Marvil, Cam Fisher, Kemp Hurley, and Chris Plovert, all in birthday party attire. They were tight around Massie's birthday cake, which delighted her to pieces. It was large, large enough for her to sit on; red, blue, green and pink frosting ornated it gorgeously, swirls and ribbons of sweet-tasting candy frosting. Located in the middle of the cake, a picture of Massie in a maroon-colored Marc Jacobs dress that hovered just above her knees finished it. She was grinning from ear-to-ear and waving at the camera, her amber eyes glistening with happiness.

It was perfect.

"Happy birthday, happy birthday," the guests finished, "happy birthday to you." They clapped politely, a few wolf whistles and kids chanting for their slice.

Massie pulled away from the crowd and hovered by the corner. She watched as Josh, dressed in a tuxedo with a bow tie, ambled towards her, carrying a box daintily covered with pink foil wrapper. "Hi," she mumbled, embarrassed.

Josh smiled and held out the box. "Here. I wrapped it and everything." His eyes reflected the moon that shone brightly on them all.

Massie tugged at the foil and unwrapped it. Inside was another box that protected the beautiful and delicate china tea cups and saucers it contained. Her round eyes filled with tears, her chin trembling. "It's beautiful. I'll keep it forever."

Josh smiled. "You're welcome." He hugged her and she hugged him, having fallen in love with the gift.

"Massie, Josh!" Kendra Block called. "Come and have some cake!"

Josh seized Massie's tiny hand and tugged her along. Unfortunately, her legs tangled with the discarded wrapper and she tripped, falling on top of the gift. The loud crushing of glassroared in Massie's ears. She rolled off the box and examined it's flat manner. She looked up, her tears having fallen over.

Josh frowned and walked away, leaving her to her own despondence.

**Massie Block/Josh Hotz, age 8**

Josh ran up to Massie who was sitting on her porch steps in her trench coat, watching a trail of red ants marching behind one another. "Hey!" he called, excitedly sprinting towards her with his current present in tow.

She glanced up and grinned at her friend. "Hi Josh!" She waved her arm over her head and eyed the animated blue teddy bear he carried.

He hopped onto the first step and turned to her. "Get up," he demanded, receiving a grunt from Massie.

She obediently followed suit and turned to him. She wiped her bottom and swiped her hands on her jeans. "What's up, Josh?" she questioned.

Josh grinned and brought out the blue teddy bear. It's eyes were wide and shiny; it's stomach was soft, fine, and round; it smelled of Josh's baby powder. Massie loved it. She reached out for it and held it to her chest, inhaling it's scent. She looked up at Josh who was smiling. "Do you like it?" he inquired.

She nodded vigorously. "It's awesome! I'm naming him Josh, after you." She grinned softly.

Josh's grin widened. "Thanks, Massie!"

"Hey, Massie, Josh!" Dylan called from the entrance of Massie's house. They both looked at her. She waved them over and shouted, "Come on out! We're going to play hide-and-seek! Come on!"

Massie nodded and leaned Josh, the teddy bear, against the pillar that held the roof of the porch up. She smiled over at Josh, the eight-year-old, and grabbed his hand. They both ran towards the opening of the white picket fence, meeting up with their childhood friends.

Josh, the teddy bear, on the other hand was bitten around it's torso by Cassie, the Blocks' golden retriever. She trotted along with Josh in her mouth and accidentally dropped it in a puddle of mud. She whimpered and padded off, forgetting about Josh the teddy bear. It sank deep into the mud pit, everything but an ear disappearing.

**Josh Hotz/Massie Block, age 10**

"Congratulations, Massie! I knew you could do it!" William Block congratulated his only daughter, hugging her. She hugged him back, a wide grin set into her features.

"Thanks, Daddy!" she giggled into his neck. They let go of each other and she ran around, collecting her friends with her. They had just graduated out of elementary and were headed for middle school. Massie loved the idea of a bigger and higher institution of learning. She had always been a person up for challenges. Her amber eyes landed on a certain brown-haired boy who was laughing with Derrick Harrington. "Josh!" she yelled. He turned around, surprised. When he realized who had acknowledged him, the smile returned instantly. He walked forward and met with her halfway, feeling the gift he had for her in his pocket.

"Congratulations, Mass. Who woulda known that you would attain the incentive of being the valedictorian?" Josh smirked playfully and poked her. She chuckled and swatted his hand away before it could invade her. "Shut up, Josh. And thank you. Congrats to you, too."

Josh shrugged. "It's just elementary, nothing too difficult."

Massie nodded in agreement. "I personally found it much too simple, which is why I'm extremely elated that this day has come."

Josh rolled his eyes. "Of course you are, smarty. Now, here." He drew out a long velvet box from his pocket. In golden, loopy calligraphy, the words _Massie Block _had been sown on. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. She carefully held it, entranced in her name sparkling under the lighting of the auditorium.

Josh chuckled. "The gift is inside the box, Mass."

Massie nodded, dumbfounded. "I know. I just appreciate everything." She slowly lifted its lid and it revealed a silver bracelet with charms dangling off it; a silver heart, a boy and a girl holding hands, her initials-MB, a little poodle, a candy cane shaped figure, and Josh's initials-JH. She looked up at him and smiled. "I love it."

He nodded. "That's the reaction I was aiming for." He slid the box out of her hand and pinched the bracelet, withdrawing it from it's holder. He stuffed the box into his pocket, which Massie frowned at, and clasped the bracelet onto Massie's wrist. She took her arm back and examined the bracelet, watching as the lights bounced off each one, making the charms shimmer. She was enthralled and drowning in the magic it brought her. And she loved the sound it made as they bumped into each other. _Clang, clang, ting!, ting!, clang_. She wrapped her thin arms around Josh and held onto him. He smiled and hugged her back. "It's amazing," she whispered.

"Massie, Josh, you two are the only ones left here! Come on, we still need to head to the Fishers' for the graduation party," Kendra announced, shimmying off with her husband.

Massie let go of Josh but followed him out, not noticing the bracelet slide off her arm and onto the green carpet. It laid there, the charms still shimmering brightly, forgotten, cold; crushed as a janitor's foot stepped on it, bending the J's curve and the M's starting line.

**Massie Block/Josh Hotz, age 13**

Massie shook her head, her brunette curls flying. "You can't go, Josh, you're my best friend!"

Josh nodded. "I know. And I'm sorry. But I promise I'll call. Every day. To complain to you about all the annoying kids there." He sighed and stroked her hair. "I really don't want to leave you."

Massie sobbed into his shirt, her salty tears hitting him like bullets. It spilled onto him and over him and into him. He didn't want to see her cry. But he couldn't stay here. He couldn't live on his own. He needed to go with his family. "I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair.

She nodded, her tears splintering the backs of her eyes. "Don't forget me, though. That's all I ask. And could you send me a postcard of the Grand Canyon? That would be cool for my wall. Oh, and-"

Josh chuckled and took her chin in his hand, gazing into her offset brown eyes. "You're still as amazing as ever, Massie Block."

She crimsoned lightly and smiled. "Thanks, Joshua Hotz."

His tongue flickered out to wet his dry lips as he reached for his duffel bag. From inside it, he fished out a baby blue photo album. He handed it to her and she took it reluctantly. She opened it to the first picture, which was of Josh and Massie as two-year-olds, in the sandbox, Massie's arm in mid-air, holding a yellow plastic shovel. She chuckled under her breath. "I was going to hit you with that."

Josh nodded. "Yeah. And you did. That hurt, y'know." He half-smiled and began searching through his iPod for their song. When he found it, he wrapped his fingers around Massie's wrist. She looked up, tears still visible on her damp lashes. He forced a smile. "Let's dance." He placed the photo album on the edge of the marble fountain and laced his fingers through Massie's, giving her the left earphone.

_"Make me feel good when I hurt so bad. Best that I've had, I'm so glad I found you, I love bein' around you. You make it easy, it's as easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4. There's only one thing to do, three words for you, I love you. There's only one way to say those three words and that's what I'll do, I love you."_

The direction of the wind travel shifted, blowing a strong breeze through the park. It blew stronger, rustling the leaves on the trees, disturbing families' lunches and allowing Massie's hair to mess itself up. From behind them, the breeze had blown the photo album open, flipping through the pages before finally falling into the fountain. It sunk fast and damaged the plastic and the photos, the water draining it of its color.

**Josh Hotz/Massie Block, age 17**

Massie Block sat on the harbor, swinging her legs back and forth. She watched as the boats settled into their assigned docks. Seventeen years of bad luck with presents from her best friend, Josh Hotz. How unlucky she was. She sighed. After Josh had left, they constantly kept in contact, reassuring each other that they'd always be each other's best friends. Until they had both become too busy for each other; he lived in Arizona and had started playing soccer and Massie was still in New York, having been accepted into the National Junior Honors Society. They lived their separate lives and they went their separate ways.

But Massie never forgot. She would cry herself to sleep some nights because she deeply believed in the idea of Josh and Massie.

She sighed and lifted her legs up and hugged them to her chest, again her tears falling over and deep into her denim jeans. She sniffled and ran a hand through her hair. From behind her, Tom Higgenson's voice drifted into the air, again singing her favorite song:

_"There's only one thing to do, three words for you, I love you. There's only one way to say those three words and that's what I'll do, I love you." _

The hairs on her heck raised and she squeezed her eyes closed. The footsteps continued to move along, slowly but not very subtly. The wood under his feet creaked loudly, but the song continued to play, growing louder with every step. "Massie?" was the deep voice she heard that differed from the tune.

Her breath hitched and she hugged her knees tighter. The footsteps came heavier and faster until they appeared right next to her. A gust of wind blew again, tousling her hair. Josh bent down and hugged the body heavily covered in a jacket. He was curious as to why she was here, on Christmas Eve. He hugged her and kissed her head. He had been looking for her everywhere. He wanted to tell her that his father had been promoted and was able to work wherever he wanted. Josh demanded they move back to New York. They had flown in merely seven hours ago, and from the time span of then and now, the only person on his mind was Massie. He had found her, thankfully, through Dylan Marvil, who had informed him that she had gone here.

Josh breathed onto the top of Massie's head and squeezed her tight. "Massie... Why the hell are you out here?" he inquired.

At the sound of his voice, she let out a heavy breath she didn't know she was holding in. She couldn't-wouldn't-believe that Josh had come back. Not for her. But he defied that when he mumbled, "I came back for you. I missed you, Mass."

She looked up at him, her eyes moist with tears. "I could say the same."

He half-smiled adorably and hugged her, giving in to her sweet scent of freshly fallen snow and watermelon-kiwi. He smiled at the revelation that she still used the same shampoo since she was six. "I have something for you," he mumbled.

_Oh no, _was what striked through Massie's head the moment she heard that. She looked up and shook her head. "No, Josh. I can't... You know my luck with gifts from you. For some reason, they always magically end up... horrendous or lost or... just..." She shook her head, at a loss for words. "I won't take anything from you."

Josh chuckled lightly. "It's fine. Really. I want you to take these things. They're important." He stood up, disappeared into the darkness for a moment and stepped back into Massie's vision. He was holding a medium-sized box labeled, "**MASSIE**" in bold letters. He nudged it towards her and when he noticed that she had no intention of opening the box, he opened it himself. A purple helium balloon flew up, but he caught the string just before it could escape.

Massie, in pure curiosity, peered into the box. Her eyes widened at the sight of the familiar objects: a tea cup and saucer set, a blue teddy bear, a long, velvet box with golden loopy letters on top that spelled her name out, and a photo album. Aside from that, there were pictures, notebooks and things that Josh had collected over the four years that he had wanted to give Massie. She smiled and pulled out the teddy bear. "Josh," she mumbled, admiring it.

Josh, the guy, smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I wanted you to have another one." He grinned, watching Massie fret over the bear, being very careful with the way she held it.

"I promise I'll watch over him," she said. Her eyes went up to meet with his and they shone brightly. She scrambled to stand up and he followed, hand still gripping the balloon's string. She hugged him tightly and he hugged her back. Their song continued to play, the tune playing from his iTouch that was safely hidden in his pocket. Josh, the bear, was snug in between them as Josh held onto Massie. She stepped onto his feet and he smiled, smoothly rocking back and forth.

As the song came to a close, Massie got off and smiled at Josh again, elation filling her up. "Thank you so much," she said.

He nodded and twirled a finger around the balloon's string. "Anything for you," he softly responded.

Her heart soared with those words and again, tears welled in her eyes. "Are you going back?"

He shook his head. His eyes went right past her, watching the moon's reflection in the midnight blue ocean. He was surprised that it hadn't frozen over. He took a step closer and held his hand out. Massie looked up at the balloon. In the bright light of the moon, the words "_I love you_" were written in black Sharpie. She looked at Josh who was gazing at her hopefully, his eyes saying it all. A happy smile slowly crept onto her face, setting off a mix of emotions in Josh. He had waited so many years to say what he needed to say. And now, he was going to let life lead him. He was going to go with it all.

Massie took hold of the balloon, tightening her pianist-slender fingers around the dangling piece of twine. She glanced up at it, at the words written there, and back at Josh. She wrapped the thin cord around her wrist. She smiled at Josh. "And I love you," she whispered into the frigid air.

She held onto the balloon, careful not to make it pop. Under the moonlight, under the stars, under the dark sky, she held onto it. He held onto her. Love held onto them.

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**an: :D**

**this is my favorite one-shot:) i really hope you all had an amazing Christmas, and a better New Year's:) and to allie, i know how much you dislike super sweet things. i'm sorry, i tried to keep it to a minimum. but _he moved away_. that's sad, right? xDDDDD **

**review? **

**with all my love [and lumps of coal], **

**ericka(: **


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